Hey all, it's been a while.
It's not quite yet the New Year's, but I've got some New Year's resolutions I intend to put down from here on out. It's time to get serious. When I stopped playing video games seriously (from maybe 15 hours a week to 1 or less) just before the summer began I thought I was imposing a strong and harsh limit on myself for the sake of (artistic) improvement. Now I realize that it was (1) not especially meaningful in the way I'd hoped and (2) I need to do way much more.
I consider my love for video games an addiction. At one time I would sit down, and I would play, and I would not stop for food, drink or sleep unless I could see morning light through the window. My art, my health and my grades suffered. Luckily my friendships, while limited in number, did not "suffer" as such and in fact my friends were my saving grace. They would encourage me to leave my room, having some fun with real people, and do things that really enriched my life. I think games are an amazing medium for creativity and expression, but to wallow in that amazingness to the point where it shuts everything else out of your life is a path I do not want to set down on ever again. I have amazing friends and family, and I have seen amazing things, and I have come to realize that playing video games will not bring me closer to the amazing people and things in the world around me.
This semester I dedicated myself seriously and thoroughly. As my first semester in a new school, I decided to get really involved (something I had never done anywhere). I became the President of my school's Computer Art club and joined my hall government as Treasurer. I also got involved with the theater program at my school and I will be in a small theater performance this Saturday. I have met about as many people at Oneonta in 4 months as I had in 4 semesters at Binghamton. I haven't received back my grades or completed all my courses to completion (there are still finals and critique sessions to be done next week) but I know roughly that my grades this semester have been pretty decent (above a 3.0 so very likely B+ to A- range). I have done these things and that's on top of getting Tendinitis and being on crutches for a couple months, visiting my girlfriend about every 2 weeks (a 2 hour's drive away) and keeping a small part time job.
Being around more people in digital art and especially around professors that teach it has really enriched and influenced my views and ideas on becoming a digital artist. Now so more than ever I want to recommit myself and improve. That means some more changes. Next semester some things are set in stone, so I will work with them as I can. For example, I'll be living with the same roommate as from this semester, so I'm guaranteed peace in my dorm room (God bless him) but I'll have to stick to a more normal sleeping schedule (neither a consistent early to sleep early to rise, nor a ridiculous 'today I'll go to sleep at 5AM and tomorrow I'll go to sleep at 7PM'
. Another example, my girlfriend will be studying abroad, so I'll be spending more time at my college than ever before. I'll be able to visit home perhaps, or see some of my best friends going to other universities.
Things being as they have been, I have decided that I must start doing the right things now so that I may learn, grown and improve artistically. I think being on the eBoard or at least actively involved with my school's Computer Art club has been a great step in the right direction. Being on the eBoard grants me the responsibility to ensure that the club reinforces and encourages the things I think it should do for me as well as others in the club. It's very exciting and invigorating to be hanging out and working with others that share the same ideals, goals and interests. We're pushing members who are interested (like myself) to draw more, and to get the creative sides of our brains engaged.
Something that I used to do plenty and have been doing less of lately is browsing here on DeviantArt. I love it here, I feel accepted and comfortable. I'm inspired and I'm drawn in to the rich world of ideas and imagination. That said, for what I have done so far on DA, my time here is done. This is not a decision I've come to simply, and it involves a few factors. To those who've gotten this far, thanks, and I hope you find my reasoning interesting and/or meaningful. To start off with, I've never really had any confidence in my creativity. When I talk about creativity I mean originality, spark and something that is unique to me. I want to have my ideas speak out and inspire people. Right now I feel like I don't have a voice in that way. Skill, on the other hand, is something I've always known I could hone, and my drawing technique has certainly improved over these past couple years. I've always liked to draw, and I would literally draw all day given the chance and likely some encouragement. From now on (maybe gradually at first, as I still have finals-work to be completed) I will work to draw virtually all day, minus the time I need to get my work done. So, in the sense of creativity being more than just marks on a page, I've never used or practiced my creative skills, let alone exhausted them. In order to do so, I will be redoubling my artistic efforts. I want to spend half my drawing time designing or creating things from my imagination, and I will create exercises to assist me in that effort. The other half of my drawing time I want to spend drawing the things I see around me, to catalog different creatures and objects in my mind. I'm not yet great with the figure, but I've spent enough time drawing it to have a basic idea of how it's put together. I don't yet have that with other things though unfortunately. As I work more in 3D I find also that my understanding and realistic depiction of mass and volume really improves.
So, overall, this leave isn't permanent. It'll be a quest for creative improvement. And I'll be back to visit every long once in a while. Knock off an email to talstermania <at> gmail <dot> com if you'd like to chat and whatnot. peace sayonara
~ Talster
2008-2009
Cheerful
Optimism
Tired
